What’s in a name?

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;”

~Shakespeare

After commenting on a friend’s thread on Fetlife, I’ve come to a thoughts on the uniqueness and inviduality of certain ties. I’ve excerpted from this post in my reply, in case you note that some of the thoughts sound familiar.

The more I learn about tying traditional Japanese kinbaku is that there isn’t one definite exact configuration of a tie. The katas – or ‘forms’ for tying are similarly movements that mimic those of other traditional martial arts. The more I tie, the more the ‘form’ is ingrained into my memory. However, because I’ve never had the opportunity to have my tying ‘form’ critiqued by a bakushi – it’s difficult for me to comprehend the fluidity and graceful motion of learning to tie. I have only videos and books to learn from – which I find is really my greatest weakness in my journey at this point. I do try to tie and imitate (to the best of my ability) the precise ties found in my Japanese books. I don’t profess to know all the names, nor is my tying ability defined precisely by the name of the tie. But I can only hope that as I explore, learn, and refine my ties – that they’ll be ‘worthy’ of their appropriate names.

The description of the tie in some senses, seems to allow the creator to divulge in their creativity. There are so many variants of (for example) a Yoko Tsuri, but does that mean any lateral suspension is a Yoko Tsuri? Perhaps. But I don’t think that’s the point. In fact, in Osada Steve’s most recent book – Aiko, he notes that Yoko Tsuri offers a wide range of variations in the poses, moreso than any other kind of suspension. Which means, for me, no matter how many variations of Yoko Tsuri I tie, none of them will ever look the same, none of them will ever be identical to the last, each one is unique in bringing about the beauty of the model I’m tying.

I love watching the evolution of the ties, and their names. In a single name, ten different bakushi will tie ten different ties. I’ll agree there are fundamental structural definitions that help give form to the tie, but the name of the tie also encourages and encompasses a huge aspect of the rigger’s creativity as well.

I should say that since I’m not Japanese (even though I’m Asian), I’m striving to learn all that I can about perfecting my technique. It would seem almost rude to label a tie, or call it by any other name. The names are evocative and informative, inasmuch as each and every tie is. Tying with passion and bringing out that experience – is what truly makes me happy.

—–

Things are quite hectic as I’m learning and maximixing my knowledge before my trip to the London Festival for the Art of Japanese Bondage. I’ll be attending my first class with the Japanese bakushi – Hajime Kinoko, and would be disappointed in myself if I wasted the time because my form wasn’t up to par. I’m working through the ties of The Book of Five Rings for Rope Arts – Part 1 and slowly working my way through Masato Marai’s Art of Bondage for Seniors. (I think it means ‘advanced-tying’). There rarely goes a day when I don’t spend at least a few hours with my rope.

I’m also super-excited to have been asked to perform for Northbound Leather’s 20th Anniversary Party later on this month. Actually it’s two weeks away, eek! My wonderful friends over at Kink Engineering will be helping me with my wardrobe idea for this event – I love them – go check out their site and their vacbeds!

I’m also sick (again). My weak immune system took a hit a few days ago post-play and now I’m recuperating with a semi-sore ass and one congested nasal cavity. That’s right I can only breathe out of one side at a time. It’s horribly irritating.

Halifax Everything to do with Sex Show

As I explore and learn about BDSM, I’m always thrilled by the amazing hospitality and personalities of kinksters around the world – and without a doubt the east coast of Canada is no exception.

I had an amazing weekend at the Halifax ETDWSS. Everything from being picked up from the airport to being shuttled across the city from our lovely guest’s home to the Cunard Centre where the show was being held, transportation was never an issue.

It was a packed weekend of a rope work, suspensions, zentai suits, gas masks, fire play, and even learning to crack a whip! A huge thank you goes to the kink community of Halifax (and the maritimes!) You’ve made an incredible impression on me, and I do hope to be back soon to spend more time in your lovely city, that is, when it’s not blanketed in snow!

I wish I could recall every moment this weekend, but it mostly felt like a blur. A huge thank you to everyone who volunteered to be suspended, and for all the wonderful words of encouragement from kinksters and general public alike!

It thrilled me to watch complete strangers step over the sectioned area of the dungeon to learn to tie a basic rope cuff. The look on their faces as they laughed, teased their partners, and tied was priceless. It made me ecstatic to be apart of their journey in exploring their sexuality!

Until next year Halifax, I’ll be sure to visit the eastern coast of Canada again

a distant blur of a weekend in Halifax...

Glitter in the Air.

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don’t care?

It’s only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It’s only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

He stroked her hair lovingly as he watched at arms length. Reclining nearby, he was close enough to smell the fading scent of her perfume while attempting to keep his distance as to not disturb her.

She knew the ties off by heart, and her hands had committed every movement to memory. She glanced shyly at him, unsure of how to proceed. She longed for a touch, for the somewhat familiar embrace. She needed to connect – not just through the rope, but to him as well. She was familiar with being watched, admired, but at this moment she wanted nothing but to be found pleasing in his eyes.

She went up into the air, a slight shift in weight and she was airborne. Suspended in the middle of the room, it almost seemed surreal that she might actually be performing for him. Her eyes were slightly closed, focused on her shallow breaths and before she could open them, she felt the familiar caress of a hand on her back.

Sighing deeply, she smiled and reached out for those long arms that could fully encircle her. They stroked, touched, and watched their fingertips dance across each other’s skin. He stroked the side of her neck and cupped her cheek as he reached down, and she reached upwards, their lips barely touching. It was as if the mere strain of trying to kiss would contort her body. Her face flushed with excitement and a soft giggle escaped both their lips. It was the first kiss of a very long evening. Without words, it was if they both recalled a familiar scene in Spiderman – but this time she was the one that was inverted.

“You know, I’ve never kissed anyone upside-down before.” He whispered.

She smiled softly as she cupped his face, running her hands through his hair relishing in its smooth texture.

Without words, he slowly undressed her while she spun slowly in his arms. She wasn’t even thinking about the strain in her back, only on the warm touch of his skin on hers as each layer of fabric peeled away from her body. She reached to his front and slowly unbuttoned his shirt as she felt her pants slip off her legs. A brief stroke of a finger between her legs sent her body into a quiet shudder. The brief moments when their lips weren’t touching, their bodies were. It was like watching a quiet intricate dance of an inverted creature and a man. To them, time stood still and in one brief moment – everything changed. She was suddenly painfully aware of how vulnerable she was to him.

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight…

~Pink

Bags are packed…

Pup’s been taken care of, bags are packed, double checked I have enough rope and hardware for the weekend…and I’m off to Halifax for the sex show!

See you wonderful kinksters at the end of the weekend! I’ll have limited access while I’m away, but keep an eye out for the full report when I get back!

I’m checking my rope and hardware in, to avoid awkward questioning from the TSA. Ha!

Rope/hardware bag - left : Clothing/personals bag - right. You can clearly tell what's more important here.

A Partial/Full suspension Photoshoot

A collection of shots from our weekend photoshoot.

I had the lovely opportunity to work with adventureseeker2 and LadyMelisande7 to do a creative shoot of some ties that I’ve been experimenting with.

We started off with a fairly basic Yoko Tsuri (Yoko Muki) – Which is a side-suspension facing sideways just to start off fairly easy. LadyMelisande7 has limited experience with rope bondage suspension, and it was a lovely way to ease her into the variety of poses we would be doing that day.

We then proceeded to perform two partial suspensions that were inspired by a set done by Demonsix and Muse. Their photos can be found on Fetlife. The shots on the stark white walls gave us the impression she was being lifted out of the water. With the model’s lovely form, the partials give the impression of tension and serenity being hung in a delicate balance. By far, my favourite image of this shoot were these.

The final pose we did was the imitation ‘Teppo Tsuri’. Known for the dangerous pose, I wouldn’t attempt this difficult suspension without supervision. Instead, I found a neat way to imitate the pose that I had seen online without compromising my model. I tied a basic chest harness with the main load-bearing line as support. The traditional ‘teppo’ pose was tied on top of that so that the arms weren’t incorporated into the suspension – but from the photos you can’t tell. Sneaky!

We then shot a few really neat poses with calligraphy thanks to the photographer’s creative ideas. It had been years since I practiced any calligraphy, so I had to do a few trial runs before compiling our final shot!

Enjoy the photos!

post-shoot.

Just got home from another awesome shoot with Adventureseeker2 . We did some great artistic shots with the lovely model – LadyMelisande7, and suspended her for a great partial/full suspension series. I forget how much fun, and diverse partial suspensions can be sometimes, and was grateful to have these work out amazingly well. Can’t wait to show you the shots – keep an eye out on the blog!

Where in the world…

I recently updated the blog with a ‘where am i’ page.

I laughed because someone mistook this as one of those old online games where you would guess ‘Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?’ Creating the page wasn’t intended as to find me, it’s more or less to help me remember where I’m supposed to be… when I’m supposed to be there. At least, in terms of events.

If I really wanted stalkers? I’d be posting my iCal somewhere public. Or you’d try to steal my phone and figure out my daily life schedule. Scary.

Anyway, most people might have noticed that I’m doing quite a bit of travelling for the first half of this year. In fact, I’m going to be attending some of the largest rope conferences in the world in this short period of time. I’ve been certainly blessed in my life, and having the opportunity to attend some of these events – I would consider is a real stroke of luck. Some of the events I’ve been invited to attend for various reasons, but mostly I’m seeing this as an opportunity to learn, and soak in as much as I possibly can while I still have the time and finances to do so.

I have a ways to go, and looking at my own work – I can see this. There are a few people whom I respect and admire that I frequently ask for advice and critique of my ties. Aside from Asagi Ageha, I know of very few female Japanese bakushi whom I can really look up to, and admire. Please let me know if you know of any others!

One of these ‘mentors’ critiqued my work last week, and it’s given me a new insight on how to improve. In some sense, I am stumbling around in the dark, unaware of my own abilities. He says I have a creative mind, but lack some of the proper technicality in my ties. It’s like saying I know how to dance, but don’t know where to put my feet. I was a little disheartened, but realize the stark honesty in his statement. I know there are times when I tie that I feel like I’m stumbling around in the dark. I’ve been invited to learn properly, to study under (indirectly) a bakushi, but I don’t have the funds nor the time to do so. I know I’ll reach a point where my learning will seemingly taper off – but I also respect and understand the essentials of grounding myself with the proper fundamentals. For now, I have my books and my own initiative to keep learning, and to learn properly as time goes on.

looks like I have my work cut out for me... (the pup agrees)

With graduate school deadlines looming – I know I’m supposed to stay in my own city and keep studying. The offer to move to study kinbaku is something I would love to do in the short-term, but I know there isn’t a career I would like to take on in the world of Japanese rope bondage. I love Toronto, and love my local community here, it would take a great deal to uproot me and ask me to move. For me, there really is no place like home.

A lesson in beauty versus technique.

I’ve recently been following a thread on Fetlife here, where one individual wanted to know why certain Bakushi (rope artists) had a style that was much ‘neater’ than others.

After reading the many responses, including one from Kogure – Arisue Go’s partner, I’ve come to some thoughts of my own.

I’ve explored and delved into many of the techniques and styles of many kinbakushi from Japan. Recently after purchasing Masato Marai’s Advanced DVD and book combination under the recommendation of a good friend, I’ve come to realize the details of beauty versus technique.

In many ways, as I learn each tie, I know that inasmuch as I try to duplicate a tie, it must have my own style and personality. I use the instructional books as guides to understanding fundamental rules and reasoning behind how a tie is performed. In learning to tie, I don’t pretend that I have the knowledge to tie in any random pattern, but I do try to tie ‘true-to-form’. Over time, I do hope the ties become secondary to my artistic vision of creating something truly beautiful.

There are times when I tie and I look back and know that I’ve forgotten a certain step, or that I’ve constructed the tie in a different manner than I have in the past. I don’t usually trace back and correct it – unless it is an essential step that may compromise the structural integrity of the tie. In fact, I take it as an opportunity to practice ‘beauty in Kinbaku’, as many have tried to put it. I’ll wind, twist and adjust the ropes to combine different elements of ties that I already know. They say that one of the goals of Kinbaku is the confidence you exude while tying.

Kogure makes a wonderful distinction in her FL post about tying for still photography and tying for a live performance. There’s beauty to be found in both expressions, and thus the vast difference in what some viewers would consider as being a perfect tie. I found myself relating to her comparison of various artistic sports. Points are awarded for technicality, but those athletes may not also excel in earning points for expression – and vice versa.

Interestingly enough, when I tie for self bondage, rarely are my ties neat. I’m so engrossed in the moment that if I pulled myself out of the scene, I would see that the ropes aren’t laying parallel and they’re often twisted. The variation in the different self-bondage ties, keeps me focused on how I want to position my body. I’m focused on flying, on where I’ll end up emotionally once I’m tied, and the technicality of the ropes becomes less important. When I tie others for bondage however, I enjoy keeping my ties neat and perfect.

I’m going to be doing a self bondage performance for the first time later on this spring, and as excited as I am, I’m incredibly nervous as well. I know self bondage seems to be an increasingly popular kink, and its become a joy for me to share with others. I know that my ties won’t be neat, nor will my ties be perfect, but hopefully those that are watching will be able to deduce a type of beauty in the type of bondage I’ve come to love.

Needs.

I had a similar conversation with a few close friends yesterday. As I’ve come to explore the lifestyle, I’ve come to discover some of my needs that may or may not be conventional. There are many people who need to eat, need to sleep, need to paint, need to run. I’m giving these examples of how others express emotion. For me, I need to feel pain.

There was a time in my life where I used to practice self mutilation as an expression of ‘needing to feel’. I’ve come away from the self-harm, and apart of the discovery of BDSM was my ability to realize that I am in control, and able to release some of the stress and emotional build up through receiving pain. There is a distinct difference between causing pain and causing harm. I no longer harm myself, and yet I long for pain. I realize that some of my readers view this as a seemingly dark and ominous need, hence why I supported my explanation with the examples above. Last night was one of those moments. The few people who I would approach to help me fulfill this need were all unavailable. As a result I was left feeling rather empty and frustrated. I was an empty vessel that needed to be filled. I was running on empty, and I was having trouble regulating my own various levels of hunger.

So, I suspended myself.

There are times when self-suspension is done for a performance, for fun, for teaching…this was therapeutic. In my greatest need, I attempt the most rash, the most creative, the most physically demanding ties. In some ways, it is a test of my mental creativity versus my physical limitations. I successfully performed a single point suspension from my waist, hence completing what I believe are one of each of the types of possible single point suspensions. Waist/hip, chest, leg, ankle. It was liberating hanging from my empty living room. I relished in the darkness around me with a few small candles to give enough light to visualize my tie. I reached backwards and held my ankles and felt the emotion rise and fall, and drifted off to another space.

I had trouble walking today at work, but I had a beautiful array of bruised lines across my lower back to remind me of my endurance.

Photoshoot

I blogged a few days about the photo shoot I did with Fat Cat Photography and Andree de Villers as my lovely model.

The photos are finally up. Enjoy!